HOW TO FIND REAL FOOD IN A SUPERMARKET

Hey there! I know, it's been a long time since my last post. After I started this blog, I had several deaths in my family, got pregnant, bought a house, moved, worked on several motion picture projects, and spent the rest of the time preparing for the arrival of the baby. My poor little blog had to take a back seat. Also, I've been focused more on the good stuff at the supermarket rather than seeking out Frankenfood and other absurdities that corporate America expects us to eat. Most exciting is that I recently rejoined the Johnson's Backyard Garden CSA and we're happily working our way through our first box of farm fresh veggies.

Anyway, I couldn't resist sharing this flowchart from Huffington Post this morning because it fits so perfectly. I could actually envision taking this handy little chart with me to the store for any moments of uncertainty in the middle aisles. Use extra caution and deductive reasoning in the section of the flowchart which asks "Might it contain bacon anyway?", it's a slippery slope people!

Here's a link to the original article:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/darya-pino/is-it-real-food-flowchart_b_805406.html

And here's the flowchart:

Enjoy, and good eating.

DOUCHE COUPONS

I'm SO curious on what aisle they stock the douches. And how do they keep them in the store, yet away from the hair gel and self-tanner? Maybe they're frozen... OK, this one is more silly than atrocious but it's April Fool's Day; go with it.

CHICKEN RINGS

Does anyone know what part of the chicken the 'ring' comes from? Seriously, nobody anywhere should eat these ever. I wouldn't wish these upon starving kids in Ethiopia. See that big block of text to the right of the so called Nutritional Information? That's the list of INGREDIENTS! Gross.

RUTHLESS AGRESSION

Thank you, Target for helping to instill the American family value of Ruthless Aggression into the minds of our young people before they're old enough to get behind the wheel of a car. Your efforts here and now are going to pay off big time in the fabric of our future society.

MONSTER GOO

They say the devil is in the details. Supermarket Atrocities is dedicated to calling out, examining and discussing all the little things that are slowly, surely eroding American culture, intellect, and physical vitality. Take for example Monster Goo. On the surface, dipping apple slices in caramel sauce sounds yummy. Except there is so much wrong with Monster Goo, lurking not even below the surface. Most of it is right there on the packaging. To name a food Monster Goo is sexually suggestive in a way that is utterly inappropriate for kids. Next, as if caramel sauce isn't good enough, they've given it a Cherry Blast! Most offensive is that the Cherry Blast flavored Monster Goo is made out of High Fructose Corn Syrup, Satan's favorite processed foodstuff. And you, H-E-B, shame on you for putting this vile processed foodstuff just below the apples at child eye level...because apples aren't yummy enough on their own, children. I expect that the majority of supermarket atrocities are committed against children because they're suckers for flashy packaging. Don't buy into it. This is how big food corporations train us to become suckers from a young age, and to believe that their vile processed foodstuffs are actual food.